Look at what we got!

Jul. 27th, 2017 03:31 pm[personal profile] desertroot
desertroot: Agave - a smooth and spiny desert plant with wildflowers growing in front (Default)
More watercolor paper for the Tarot project!




We really like the paper we're using - and obviously also want to make sure that all the cards are on the exact same paper so they harmonize well... so we went ahead and bought a couple more notebooks of the same type.  It's going to take basically exactly two of these  notebooks to make all of the Tarot cards - and while we already have one, we already used up a bunch of pages in it on other stuff,  and having a bit of extra is always good!

What the flying fuck?

Jul. 23rd, 2017 11:59 pm[personal profile] desertroot
desertroot: Agave - a smooth and spiny desert plant with wildflowers growing in front (Default)
We listen to our dark-ass Hungarian/Austrian musicals for a while and feel better than we have in a while?

What the fuck?

How does that even work?

I mean... it's like Romeo and Juliet the extra-dark Mad Max Fury Road version?

And the others...

-Dylan (& others)
desertroot: an abstract painting that looks like a warm night with firefles or stars in it. (night magic)
Here's a picture of the vaguely Art Nouveau inspired tarot we've been working on.  It's the first 3 cards of the major arcana, and the last.  The first and/or second layers of painting are done, but they all need one more pass for details and final shading!

We've been kind of dreaming of using an Art Nouveau tarot, but all the ones I see… Don’t interest me?  They’re too human-focused.

So we were just thinking - we could make our own mini-deck! :D

Especially since we're trying to brush up our art skills to make a couple of decks we have in our mind, but in the mean time we'd still like to explore some of the symbolism that will be in them some day... now!  And mini-decks, besides being easier on the hands, also need less finicky perfection of detail.

Art Nouveau is a much loved an powerful style for us, one we've always admired.  And has links to romanticism, especially german romanticism.  It just has a lot of feelings for us.

A set of four tarot cards in progress, they show images like cats and moons and tree branches, they are square instead of the typical rectangle.

The Fool         The High Priestess
The Magician   The World

Yes, these are square instead of the typical rectangle!  But e figured if we're going to do this weird, we might as well go all the way and mess around!

We considered hexagonal or round cards, but we found a place that will print custom tarot decks, and the hexagonal and round cards are quite a bit more expensive, while there are some quite reasonable square sizes!  And we like how these are looking in the frame!

[polemic.]

Jul. 23rd, 2017 08:54 am[personal profile] foundcarcosa
foundcarcosa: (Default)
I'm tired. Like my sleep cycles are never fully complete. I thought being a light sleeper could be cured, once the brain realises that it's only hurting itself by being so conscious when it's not supposed to be, but I guess if I haven't been cured by now I never will be. I hate being so easily awakened. I know sleep has never interested me, but that doesn't mean I don't recognise its purpose.
There is no way that I left all those terrible sleeping situations -- shelters, trains, other people's living rooms -- just to come to this situation and still be kept awake by other people's noise.
Maybe I'll start wearing my earplugs to bed. As uncomfortable as that would be.

Smell is my other sensory complaint. Everything smells. Two cats smell. Sigma smells. Sigma's room smells. Sometimes there's unidentified smells from the kitchen region (and it's maddening that I can't identify them, because then I can't take care of them). Then you have to use smelly things (less awfully-smelly things but still smelly) to get rid of the original smelly things. There is never just... a basic unobtrusive smell, like a "house smell" or anything. It's always something disgusting or overpowering or subtly irritating. I am weary of having to think of creative ways to ignore it. My mind is weary of processing all the information. I want Sigma gone and that room... decontaminated. I want Empurror Martin Septim the Second BKA Gus to have his groomer's appointment so he doesn't stink up every object of mine that he lays on. I want peace for my stupid hyperactive too-good-for-this-world senses.

I want to trip. I am jagged and discontent and full of old blood. I need a hard reset. But there is nothing to trip on -- DXM's usefulness was worn out a long time ago, especially since it seems to rely a lot on social/environmental feedback, and I don't know anyone to get anything else. I drink constantly to relieve the boredom even though I'm well aware that doesn't work as well as it would if my tolerance were lower. I am just so bored. I am bored of mundane matters, of a three-dimensional earth; bored of hearing about money and jobs and bored of being disgusted to the point of neuroticism and bored of playing human and bored of this town and bored of people on the internet who are always talking about the same old things and just... existentially comprehensively bored to the point of a constant low-level irritation.
I make fun of white people for doing things like extreme sports and bull-riding and BASE-jumping or whatever but at this point, if that kind of stuff would cure this boredom, I'd try it. I just know it wouldn't. No two-bit adrenaline rush would.

Honestly, I'm not sure anything really cures it. But it's code that can be written over sometimes, with new chemicals, with new places, with special interests (although how long it lasts is variant). Chemical rewriting, employed correctly, can last a fair amount of time before needing to be refreshed. Wandering is either too expensive or too unstable, most of the time, although sometimes the instability itself can do the trick (I'm just not as interested in that method of treatment these days). Right now, special interests is all I got, and even I'm sick of playing World of Warcraft for hours almost daily in a resigned attempt at brightly-coloured distraction.

I know there's other stuff in me beyond this vast flat haze; infinitely more. I was enjoying it. I would like to get back to it.

....

Jul. 20th, 2017 11:22 pm[personal profile] desertroot
auronlu: (Bobblehead Night)
[personal profile] aurenare reports that DeNa's last maintenance run just introduced a bug so that every single relic you pull with the Volume 2 Relic Draw is 5*s (a rainbow orb).

Some are boring — Shared Diamond Shield letting anyone cast Protect as a SB is of limited utility -- but others (Sentinel's Grimoire, Ramza's Shout relic, Terra's Maduin summoning relic and so on) are very nice.

No telling how long before they fix this bug, so I can't promise it's still in effect, but I just picked up a bunch of nice toys.
desertroot: Agave - a smooth and spiny desert plant with wildflowers growing in front (Default)
We'll be adding to this and trying to say more as we get it more put together.  But we're going to try and put *something* down now.

~

Sometimes now…

My veins feel like they are full of life but also ashes and poison.

I can feel weariness and death like slow poison swimming in them and mingling with life and blood.
Dragging us down towards we know so well what.  Just as our blood buoys us up.

A few times I’ve gotten lost in it and the agony and weariness became a sort of sweetness.  And the intensity of this awareness burned through my body like a flame.

Unmoving but filled with it. Unable to move, to cry out - but crying out inside in pleasure just the same.  Caught up in His embrace (and Life’s) and then everything…

Left with a faint residue of heat and healing.

~

After this we had a day where we had the first real solid meal in ages.  A big one too! (as opposed to one snack a day with solid food and the rest being yogurt and Ensure)  Actually we had 2 meals that day!  And felt good after instead of every system having difficulty with it!
 
~

Before this, we spent some time in the crypt (not quite literally, we'll explain later, but an actual place.)  With "A Nervous Splendor"  And  "The Road to Mayerling: Life of Rudolf" and "Elisabeth" so near... The two serpents inside us.  Just lying on the floor sleeping,  shivering faintly, and weeping.  We felt so heavy after that we didn't know how we would make it to see the next  night.

And then...



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